FLOWERS FOR VALENTINE’S DAY
On this day designed for love, romance, and connection (if Valentine’s Day were all it could be), I wrote a love letter to God.
I don’t know what to say today. I feel like I need to not speak. Not think. Not discuss, plan, or contemplate. I feel like leaning back into Your loving arms and residing with You in the eye of the storm. Swirling activity all around me. My son’s journey, Chat GPT (the newest Artificial Intelligence), the new project I am embarking on, my clients, my time relapse yesterday, and most likely my money relapse that is still to come today. The din of voices, noise, personal dramas, and the clanging cymbals of anxiety demanding my attention. A world I no longer recognize.
And in the chaos of it all, leaning back into You. Today is like sitting together in the shade at the edge of the playground, watching all the activity…the fights that break out, the games in progress, the fun, the scraped knees, the timeouts…and then turning away, taking a walk alone together into a beautiful, multi-colored field of flowers. Sitting on the ground and leaning back into You, God, and seeing the sky. Really seeing the sky. There is so much more than we know. Maybe all of this is Artificial Intelligence- people scrambling, gathering bits and pieces of data, rearranging them, then giving them some kind of meaning. And beyond it all, here, alone with You, in quiet and peace- there is LOVE. There is TRUST. There is vibrant, multi-colored life. There is US. I love this field of flowers.
Changing My Mood
I have been struggling. Not with writing my book, or creating my online course, or staying home this summer when I had a glorious 3-month adventure around the country last summer…I have been struggling what I make of it all. As soon as I decide to take action and move forward on a project I care about, my internal disciplinarian emerges. She is like a teacher, wearing a buttoned-up black suit, tight bun, and walking around smacking a ruler into her hand, ready to strike if I let up, breathe, or dare to stop. Although many years have passed, I still feel like that nervous school girl in 7th grade at the private, all-girl school in which she had to make the honor roll or else. Yes, I want to get things done. I want to have my voice heard and become visible…but not like this. Let me go back to that sweet girl and get her. My bright, hard working, perfectionistic self. Let me lovingly take her hand and lead her out of her self imposed prison into the clean, fresh air and streaming sunshine. Let me show her the flowers, the trees shimmering with light in the gentle breeze, and let her hear the birds singing. There is a better way to do this. I want to quietly slip out of the suffocating, cellophane wrapping of others expectations that I agreed to wear on “their” behalf, because I thought they knew and I didn’t. I want to walk freely, easily, and deliciously into a new beginning. My own, personal dance with the Divine. My hand in Yours, God. Beauty surrounding us. Stepping out into the open air. I would love to dance, play, discover, explore, and create with You. A long, luxurious, refreshing breath, and begin. ❤️
This End has brought so many New Beginnings September 20, 2021
A special thank you for an amazing summer…we love you more than words can ever say…
Bitter Sweet Apples and Endings September 19, 2021
Such a beautiful and bittersweet day! We spent the last day of our glorious trip by doing something we love to do every year around this time. We are staying in our usual campground in Reinbeck and we went apple picking at Fixx Brothers fruit farm. It was truly like coming home again in the best possible way. Later we took the pups to a dog park by the Hudson River for them to play and swim, and now we are waiting for a special takeout dinner to take back and eat at our little home on wheels. Tomorrow we pack up and return home. We’ve been talking about favorite places, biggest lessons learned, funniest moments, plans for the future and more. My sweet friend April told me a while back that we’ve had a summer filled with many wonderful gifts, now let this be a year of unwrapping and savouring every one. Best advice ever I think. While I’m sad to see this end, I am looking forward to the adventures that lie ahead. This life is a miracle!
Unexpected Surprises September 19, 2021
As we packed up and prepared to say goodbye to Lake George yesterday, we happened upon a settlement of soldiers that were camping on the shores of the lake for the weekend. Actual tents, authentic cookware, hot uniforms and the ladies in long dresses on a 86° day. I went up to 2 of the soldiers and said “I hate to have to ask this, but which war are you fighting?” It was the French and Indian war and these guys were great. They explained that in a few years they would be fighting on different sides in the revolutionary war, and that their captains would leave them here when this war ended to fend for themselves rather than take them home again to possibly start a revolution back home. The guy on the left had a legitimate Scottish accent and the guy on the right was Irish and said he was told “either enlist or die”. Their guns were so heavy to lift, let alone carry, along with their tents and belongings, I decided to stop whining when I have to carry my water bottle along on a hike. They had a battle on the field that was really impressive, even though only 4 guys died out of many who were all shooting at each other. They did have to wait for the truck delivering the Porta Potties to clear the field before the battle could begin (Elijah said they were very impressive chamber pots), and some of the captains arrived in a golf cart. It was a wonderful surprise to travel back in time. The last photos are part 2 from our wonderful day swinging in the trees when we hiked with the pups, had a cookout at the camper, and then went to the drive-in theater to see a late night showing of “Jungle Cruise”. Do you get a sense that we are packing in as much as humanly possible in these last days of our road trip?
Adirondack Extreme Adventure Course September 18, 2021
A DAY SO SPECTACULAR that I have to share it in 2 parts!
Yesterday we did the Adirondack Extreme Adventure Course which has a number of high altitude courses in the trees equipped with zip lines, rope swings, nets & more. It was AMAZING!!! None of us have ever done anything like that before, and we managed to make it through 5 courses together (#5 being much more difficult and advanced ) before the park had to close and our bodies had to rest. Ernie has always had a fear of heights, yet he became fearless as the day went on and the kids amazed me with their strength, focus, and willingness to try anything. There were plenty of laughs as well (like this first video of Ernie early in the course attempting to do his Tarzan yell while tackling the “Tarzan Swing” into a net suspended high in the trees. I loved everything about this adventure. The personal victories, the problem solving, the team work and support, the trees, our togetherness, and the flat out fun. We ended the day by taking the dogs for an off leash romp in the woods with a beautiful waterfall, a cookout around the campfire, and a late night movie at the drive in theater!!!!
Lake George September 16, 2021
The Good News is that my replacement phone arrived at our campground in time for me to get some photos of this glorious day at Lake George, and it was indeed, a glorious day!
The Bad News (at least for now) is that I cannot seem to retrieve the information on my damaged phone including important texts, my notes from our trip, personal data, my photos that had not been backed up and more. I will take it to Verizon when I get home and pray for a miracle. In the meantime, I am back up and running, and tomorrow morning we are doing something I have never done before that I am VERY EXCITED about. Here is a little hint: it has to do with some very tall trees (-;
Too much Mist for this Maiden September 14, 2021
BENEATH THIS RICE lies my cell phone that got a little too much Maid Of The Mist moisture yesterday and my phone seems to have had enough of our grand adventure
If the rice doesn’t revive it, I will have no phone, no messaging, and no more of my own photos till I get home, because Verizon says I need to order my new phone online and have it delivered and can’t just get one in the store up here. The good news is that you can still reach Ernie, Eli, and Tatiana, and the kids take amazing photos. Just wanted to let you know in case I seem particularly quiet in the next few days. Maybe I am meant to be particularly quiet for a while and simply take in these last few days of my most amazing summer ever. All things work together for good…
Maid of the Mist September 13, 2021
The Magnificent Power Of Water!
Our day at Niagra Falls was both breathtaking and thrilling! We took the MAID OF THE MIST boat trip up close to the falls, and oh my goodness! The sound of the falls thundering down around us, the forceful spray that soaked our faces, and the rocking boat followed by a perfect rainbow took us all by surprise. We ended the day with s’mores by a campfire until Mother Nature decided to impress us once again with lightning, thunder, and a downpour that sent us running inside for cover. My mama’s words were ringing in my ears tonight. “Oh girls, just LOOK at the beautiful world God made for us!” I am looking mama, and I love what I see!